ATTN: T.I. and/or T.I.P.

I'm trying really hard to be excited for your new album, T.I. vs. T.I.P., and I was doing a pretty good job until I read the finalized track list.
It is, without a doubt, the most disappointing list of Guest Rappers that I have ever seen in my life. Wyclef? Busta Rhymes?
NELLY?
Even Jay-Z and Eminem can't get me excited. Jay's shit-tastic verse in Rihanna's otherwise awesome "Umbrella" was pretty much the nail in the coffin for him, and Eminem of late is just a sad self-parody (although I have always liked him better as a guest rapper, so maybe he'll surprise me).
Why, Clifford? Why would you tempt me with Lil' Wayne and R. Kelly collaborations just to laugh in my face like this? It's not like Lil' Wayne has anything better to do! The man breathes, eats, and shits rap. You could have pulled him aside after filming the "We Takin' Over" video, had him freestyle for 50 seconds and then never spoken to him again and his verse would probably STILL be better than whatever crap Busta talks about these days.
Have you HEARD "I Love My Bitch"? It's like getting fucked in the ear canal by will.i.am over and over again.
I'm astounded there's not a MA$E or a Mystikal collaboration on here or something. At least those guys names look silly printed on a CD jacket. The people you've picked are just boring.
Goddammit.

Growin' On Me

When there was nothing better to do (read: 80% of the time) at school, my friend Josh and I would turn the TV on to MTV U, MTV’s college-only station that (to its credit) plays music videos pretty much 24/7, in hopes of catching the new My Chemical Romance video or the acoustic version of Korn’s “Freak on a Leash” (featuring Amy Lee of Evanescence!).

More often than not, however, we would be greeted with either MTV News, or Tokyo Police Club’s “Nature of the Experiment” video. Now, I’ll admit that I had never heard of Tokyo Police Club before seeing them on MTV U so, first and foremost, fuck you, MTV, for ruining the Indie Cred which I had so meticulously accrued.

The first time we watched it, I remember both of us being really befuddled. The song clocks in at one second more than two minutes, making it an odd choice for a single. It was catchy, sure, but it seemed like more of the same lo-fi, garage-ish bands that have served as a peace offering from mainstream media to indie rock kids over the past few years (The Strokes, The White Stripes, etc.). On top of that, it barely had verses. Each was literally two lines, the first one consisting of “We’ve got our tracks covered / thanks to your older brother” before it kicked in to the bridge. This irked me.

The video itself didn’t help matters much. It was an acceptably quirky affair, with band members being wrapped in Saran Wrap by other band members and silly little shapes and colors floating around. But every once in a while, the video would do a close up on the lead singer’s face which, while not ugly, certainly contorted in to some unattractive expressions while he was singing.

So, I dismissed it at first as just another song: Not particularly bad, but not really worth a second listen.

But, due to the fact that MTV U has, apparently, only 12 videos in its rotation, I saw “Nature of the Experiment” about ten times in the last two months of the spring semester. Over that period, the song bounced around in my head long enough that I began to notice things that I really liked about it.

First of all, the xylophone* (which is automatically awesome) is allowed to echo dreamily through the song, adding a unique sound to what is otherwise straightforward indie pop.

There is also one synchronized yelp of “Go!” from the entire band at the beginning, which is rad. Tokyo Police Club seem to like doing this, because there is a lot of full-band yelling in their new (and superb) single, “Your English is Good.”

The closing riff of the song is also really good, and although the instrumentation doesn’t change all that much throughout the song, it’s short enough that this riff makes it sound pretty fresh the entire time.

Upon listening to several of their other songs, Tokyo Police Club no longer comes across as just another band doing the garage rock thing. They sound fresh and like they’re having a really good time and like they mean it. Here’s to their album (if it ever comes out) maintaining that feeling.

*Upon further investigation, the instrument turns out to be a glockenspiel. The difference? Xylophones have wooden bars, glockenspiels have metal bars. Thanks, Wikipedia! Swim Through Frequencies apologizes for the error.

The BEST Songs #3

In which Lil’ Wayne becomes The Best Rapper Alive.

The thing that’s going to be most difficult with this song is trying to choose which lyrics are the best. Because, in all seriousness, every single word that comes out of Wayne’s mouth in this song is just fucking incredible. From “Call me automatic Weezy, bitch, I keep spitting” in the first verse to “I take you to the shootout, baby, win, lose, or draw” as he raps over police sirens, Wayne’s verses are short, tight, and perfect. It’s a song that allows the rapper to breathe, with guest hook-singer Robin Thicke taking his sweet time, and letting Weezy run circles around him.

The middle verse, a lyrical bombing of radio stations, reads like a Best Of Lil’ Wayne list, highlighting pretty much everything that he does best. First of all, his flow switches twice in this song, and it works perfectly going from the fast-paced assault in verse one to the laid-back, confident drawl in the second. That isn’t to say that he isn’t still on the offensive in the second verse. Nothing could be further from the truth: Every word he says is another slug in the chest. “Stop being rapper racist, region haters, spectators, dictators, behind-door dick-takers. It’s outrageous,” he says to radio stations across America. That he can even say that line with such serious delivery (because it’s fucking hilarious, in a good way) is amazing to me. It’s not just the image of radio executives getting fucked in a back room somewhere, it’s all the unanswered questions that make me love that line: Why are they being fucked? Rape? Pleasure? Bribery? Who’s doing the fucking? Corporate America? Clear Channel? G-Unit?

Even more amazing to me is that this song is a single, which by definition demands radio play. But, as if to prove Weezy’s point or just to spite him because he hurt someone’s feelings, the song barely charted on the U.S. Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Charts at number 97. It didn’t even touch the Hot 100.

So, yeah, Wayne insults a lot of people in this song, but he does it in a way that makes his jibes fact instead of speculation. Like the masterful Jay-Z diss track “Takeover” (which causes me to think Nas is a total pussy whenever I listen to it) “Shooter” works its magic by hitting all the right buttons and making its author sound like a champion of the people and making everyone else a fucking joke.

“This is Southern. Face it: If we too simple, then y’all don’t get the basics.”

Pow.

The BEST Songs #2

For every rap song about love, there are 400 about anything else. Hell, I think there are more songs commemorating dead homies than there are ones about being in love. Sure, there’s Cannibal Ox’s “The F Word” (which is awesome) and a handful of songs from The Streets’ A Grand Don’t Come for Free (depending whether or not you call that rap), but you can probably hear 52 Cam’ron songs on MTV Hits about “hymen grinding” before you hear one song about love, and it’ll most likely be by Ne-Yo.

To me, it’s fitting that Ghostface Killah, the most critically acclaimed rapper who you’ll never hear on the radio, is one of the MC’s with a rare love song. By the time The Pretty Toney Album came out in 2004, I imagine Ghost must have been confused and angry. Ma$e’s new album was selling better than his, and Method Man had a TV show while all Ghostface had was this short (albeit genius) series of clips on MTV2. So Ghostface dropped the “Killah” from his name, told Raekwon to wait outside for a little while, and wrote a song about his girl. Because, fuck it. Nothing else was working.

Not that “Save Me Dear” blew up the charts or anything (it wasn’t even a single, sadly). Hell, The Pretty Toney Album didn’t even cause popguns to go off. This was the year “Jesus Walks” was making everyone a little more holy, and when forced to choose between asking Jesus and Ghostface’s Girl for salvation, the Big Guy upstairs had a longer reputation for reliability. So “Save Me Dear,” a simply remarkable song, went unnoticed.

Until now (Oh Snap).

The first thing that’s great about “Save Me Dear” is that Ghostface himself produced it. Ghost is by no means a producer by trade (or else the RZA would have nothing to do), which is why it’s something of a minor miracle that the production sounds as good as it does. It’s got horns, but not in a “MY NAME IS JUST BLAZE HAVE SOME FUCKING HORNS” kinda way, more like a Madlib, jazz-sampling way. The fact that Ghost thought this song was important enough that he wanted to create every aspect is something special. That’s love right there, man.

The hook, sung by Old Jazz Dude, gets extra endearing when Ghost himself sorta warbles along with him after the second verse. And, speaking of Ghostface’s warbles, the lyrics here do something that few, if any, other Ghostface songs do: They make sense. Pitchfork’s Jamin Warren, in his awesome capsule review of Supreme Clientele for their “2000-2004: The Top Albums of the Decade’s First Half” feature, wrote, “To be honest, I understand Toney about 40% of the time, and anyone claiming to do better can kiss my mulatto ass.” So to have “Save Me Dear” make pretty much perfect sense all the way through and not fuck up anything that makes Ghostface’s lyrics or delivery Supreme

One cool thing that he does, lyrically, is devotes 70% of the first verse to narration from his girl’s point of view. This allows him to escape his thug persona for a little while and lets his listeners see Ghostface (as a character) in a new light.

“She said, ‘If you shoot, you ain't the real Pretty Tone / Baby, come home, you not alone, be strong whether right or wrong’…” he raps in the middle of this first verse. And then, at the end, “‘And, hey, don't worry bout that jam, you gonna smash 'em / Whose asking? You're still to come / Stay focused, keep it cool, you know I love you’” to which Ghostface responds, “Love you too, babe, thank you.” It’s a tenderness that you can almost never find in rap lyrics, and it really works to Ghost’s advantage.

But, as any good writer knows, it ruins your story to betray a character’s true nature, so Ghost walks a very fine line, like Tupac in “Dear Mama” or “Thug’s Mansion”, between gangsta and sweetheart. In fact, the best line in the song is the one that finds that exact balance: “I'ma sell my guns, and with the cash I'ma bring you to Vegas.” Touching, n’est pas?

In short, Ghostface has written a song that masters a nearly untouched niche in rap music, and one that deserves further exploration. If rappers want to stay relevant as their music becomes more and more mainstream, they’re going to need to take a cue from Ironman: Show some love.

ATTN: Pharrell

I would really appreciate it if you didn’t release any more songs where you yell “Niggas and Bitches!” at the beginning. I know the song in question (“When the Last Time”) came out in 2002, but I just want to make sure that you don’t do it again. See, I like Clipse a lot, but I don’t think either of those two categories applies to me, and it makes me feel uncomfortable when I sit at red lights blasting music addressed to somebody else. At the beginning of “Izzo,” some guy in the background says “Ladies and Gentlemen,” and I feel like you’d have a much better chance of including everyone if you said something like that instead.
Thanks,
-Swim Through Frequencies

Girl Rock Can Save the World #1

The two men behind Jason and me in line were of the opinion that, “when I got older,” I would learn how bad Grizzly Bear was. In time, I would grow to understand what they already understood, that Grizzly Bear and bands like Grizzly Bear sucked it hard, and that the only music really worth a damn came from Britain. (This last part was inferred.)

These two gentlemen, in their late twenties or early thirties, had seen Jarvis [Cocker] (who has Madonna’d himself for some reason) and were disappointed by the opening band, The Dirty Projectors, whose songs “didn’t make any sense.” “They’re like Sigur Rós’ retarded cousin,” one of them said. I would have pointed out the irony in the fact that they were telling me what I wasn’t going to like in ten years while they were still going to shows of a guy whose band had its heyday ten years ago, but there was one common bond between the four of us that transcended any generation gap we may have encountered:

We were all waiting for autographs from The Pipettes.

In what I hope will be an ongoing series of posts, “Girl Rock Can Save the World” will explore various bands, songs, specific girls, etc., in hopes of unifying each and every person under the banner of catchy, intelligent, girl-fronted music.

A friend of mine from school, one of the more metal kids I know, has a tendency to call a lot of things “gay” or “fucking stupid.” Things that fall in to these categories for him could be dear friends of his, Modest Mouse, the movie Volver… pretty much anything. However, in what must be some of his weaker moments, he has been known to voice his love for The Cardigans’ “Lovefool.”

A great Girl Rock song can bring together even the most diverse people. Think about everyone you know who loved “Since U Been Gone.” If you’re like me, that list probably literally encompasses everyone you know. The free Pipettes in-store performance and signing brought together frumpy, middle-aged dudes, dads with their ten-year-old daughters, twenty-something couples, and three kids who leaned against the wall looking cool the entire time, one of whom was wearing an Anti-Flag t-shirt.

Sights like that give me hope. Hope that everyone’s respective differences can be put aside for some good, old-fashioned pop music. And, when I say pop music, I don’t necessarily mean Billboard Hot 100-worthy stuff, even though some of it can be really awesome. Lord knows The Pipettes will never see a Number 1 hit on the Billboard charts (unless the world becomes a much better place than it is right now). I just mean a group of girls (and guys, if they want to come along for the ride,) who put their voices together to make the world a better place.

So I’m calling upon you, The Pipettes, Girls Aloud, Lucky Soul, Vanessa Carlton, Natasha Bedingfield, Hello Saferide, Kelly Clarkson. You are music’s freewill ambassadors to the world. You must go forth, bringing Outkast and Gnarls Barkley with you, to spread your message of peace, love, and sexyfuntimes to a human race that desperately needs some sexyfuntimes.

ATTN: 50 Cent & Cam'ron

vs.

Listen. Both of you guys have made a pretty good showing so far. 50, I give you props for not mentioning your cock once in “Funeral Music,” and it ending up a pretty decent diss track, even though you look silly waving so many guns in the video. Cam, you get points because everything you’ve aimed at 50 so far has been fucking hilarious. So, this could turn in to a long-running hip-hop feud (which would be awesome) but I just gotta warn you guys about something.

Both your crews suck. Tony Yayo? Jim Jones? Come on. Plus, there’s like four guys in G-Unit now. They keep trying to back you up, but they just sorta end up making you sound silly. Yeah, every once in a while Juelz says something pretty great and I enjoy Young Buck despite myself, but they really do more harm than good.

So here’s how I will settle this feud: Rappers are notorious for having really silly names in real life, to the point where I can’t blame them for renaming themselves stupid shit. So right here, right now, Swim Through Frequencies settles the Diplomats vs. G-Unit Feud, declaring which ever group’s rappers have sillier names the winner.

For starters, we have “Curtis James Jackson, III” and “Cameron Giles.” This one’s easy. Hell, Cam’s name is actually pretty cool.
Winner: 50 Cent

Alright, now we have “Christopher Charles Lloyd” vs. “Joseph Guillermo Jones, II.” Slightly tougher, but Lloyd Banks’ has to take this one. Plus, I give Lloyd points for having the balls to take arguably the geekiest of his three named and make it his hip-hop moniker.
Winner: Lloyd Banks

Moving on, we go to “Marvin Bernard” and “LaRon Louis James.” Jesus H. Christ, who is naming these G-Unit cats, the British aristocracy? I know Cam picked on Curtis already, but you could write an awesome diss track about “Marvin,” if Tony Yayo was even worth dissing.
Winner: Tony Yayo

Last but not least, we have “David Darnell Brown” and… hell, I have never heard of any of the rest of The Diplomats, even though there are like a million of them. Cheating slightly, I’ll pick Freekey Zekey, cause even his rap name is retarded. Sure enough, we get “Ezekiel Jiles” which is pretty lame, I guess. His next album’s called The Book of Ezekiel, though, which is kinda sweet. Plus, there’s something about “Darnell”…
Winner: Young Buck

So there you go! A clean sweep by G-Unit over The Diplomats! Who’da thunk it? Swim Through Frequencies would like to thank all of the participants today, and would like to remind both teams that we’re all winners, when you think about it.